Why Your Most Logical Engineers Struggle with Ownership (And How to Fix It)

Your smartest, most logical engineers aren't failing to take ownership because they lack skills.

Something much deeper is happening.

At Stackify, where I was both founder and CTO, I discovered that having brilliant developers wasn't enough.

We had the technical talent, but getting engineers to move beyond just writing code to actually owning outcomes was a constant struggle.

With over 250 software developers now at Full Scale, one of our core values is literally "courage" - the willingness to speak up, ask questions, and take initiative.

Why did we make this a foundational value?

Because we learned the hard way that technical brilliance without ownership creates bottlenecks and stunts company growth.

I recently had a conversation with Taha Hussain, an engineering coach who previously worked as an engineering manager at Microsoft, Walmart, and Yahoo. We explored something I've seen cripple even the most talented technical teams: this struggle to take ownership.

The Hidden Blocker: The Emotional Side of Ownership

Most CTOs and engineering leaders assume the path to creating ownership is simple:

1. Tell people to take ownership

2. Give them feedback when they don't

3. Repeat until behavior changes

Sound familiar?

But Taha highlighted something profound: People actually want to take ownership—they just don't know how because emotions are blocking their path.

Have you ever had an engineer who:

• Avoids making decisions without explicit approval?

• Only does exactly what's assigned, nothing more?

• Seems capable but never offers ideas or solutions?

We label these as "execution problems" or "initiative problems."

But they're actually emotional intelligence problems.

The Elephant and the Rider: Why Willpower Fails

Taha shared an analogy from psychologist Jonathan Haidt that perfectly explains why highly logical people struggle with ownership.

Imagine your brain as a rider (logical mind) on an elephant (emotional mind).

The rider plans everything logically—"I'll speak up in the next meeting" or "I'll take initiative on that project." But the elephant—the emotional part that actually does the work—doesn't speak logic. It speaks emotion.

And if the elephant feels fear, shame, or uncertainty, it simply won't move—no matter how logical the plan.

This explains why your engineers can understand the value of ownership intellectually but still struggle to demonstrate it.

The "Drama Triangle" That Prevents Ownership

One of the biggest traps both leaders and team members fall into is what Taha called the "Drama Triangle" (based on a concept from David Carpenter):

• The Victim: "Everything is happening to me" (your engineer who feels powerless)

• The Villain: "Why won't they just listen and take ownership?" (potentially you as the leader)

• The Hero: The person who jumps in to save the day (often reinforcing victim behavior)

This drama keeps everyone stuck.

The engineer feels like the victim, you feel like the victim of their lack of initiative, and the cycle continues.

The key is breaking out of this drama into "creator mode" where everyone feels empowered to act.

Unlocking Creator Mode: The Balance of Challenge and Support

So how do we actually fix this? From my experience leading engineering teams at Stackify and now at Full Scale, there are concrete steps you can take:

1. Equal Parts Challenge and Support As leaders, we need to both challenge AND support our teams. As I shared with Taha, challenge without support makes you the villain; support without challenge creates complacency.

2. Create Emotional Safety At Full Scale, we talk about "courage" as a core value. But courage only exists where there's psychological safety to ask questions, make mistakes, and try new things.

3. Understand the Specific Emotional Blocker Taha shared a brilliant example of an engineer who didn't want to work on big data because he questioned if he was "good enough." The solution wasn't to challenge him more—it was to specifically address his self-worth concern.

4. Build Confidence Before Expecting Action Taha made a powerful point: "You cannot withdraw from a bank account if there is no deposit in it." You must make genuine deposits in people's emotional banks before expecting withdrawals of initiative and ownership.

The Scaled Approach for Growing Companies

If you're leading a growing tech organization, you might wonder: "This sounds great for 1:1 coaching, but how does it scale?"

The answer is culture cascade. As Taha put it:

When your directors and managers understand how to unlock ownership in themselves and others, the impact ripples throughout the organization.

Why This Matters Now More Than Ever

In a world where AI can write code and algorithms can solve technical problems, the most valuable people at any company are those who can:

• Take initiative

• Navigate ambiguity

• Bring ideas to life without being told exactly what to do

Those who remain purely reactive will become increasingly less valuable.

Fostering ownership isn't about productivity. It's about future-proofing your engineering organization.

The Compound Effect of Emotional Intelligence

The investment you make in addressing emotional intelligence pays dividends beyond just ownership.

Teams with high emotional awareness communicate better, collaborate more effectively, and navigate change with greater resilience.

In a tech landscape where anyone can learn to code but few master the human elements of building products, this is your competitive advantage.

When I built and sold both VinSolutions and Stackify, it wasn't just the technology that created value—it was the teams who owned outcomes, navigated ambiguity, and drove results without constant direction.

That ownership culture starts with understanding that beneath every execution problem lies an emotional challenge waiting to be addressed.

What you can do today

If you're struggling with ownership on your team, remember that the solution isn't more frameworks, clearer instructions, or harsher feedback.

It's about understanding the emotional blockers that prevent action and addressing them specifically.

If you're struggling with ownership on your team, remember that the solution isn't more frameworks, clearer instructions, or harsher feedback.

It's about understanding the emotional blockers that prevent action and addressing them specifically.

Here's a practical action plan to start transforming your team:

1. Map the Emotional Landscape: In your next 1:1s, listen for emotional cues rather than logical explanations. When someone isn't taking ownership, ask: "What concerns do you have about moving forward with this?" instead of "Why haven't you done this yet?"

2. Create Safety Before Demanding Courage: At Full Scale, we've learned that creating psychological safety must precede expecting courage. Make it explicitly clear that you value learning from mistakes more than avoiding them altogether.

3. Identify Your Drama Triangle: Reflect on where you might be playing the villain or hero in your team dynamics. Are you expecting ownership without making emotional deposits first? Are you rescuing people instead of empowering them?

4. Start With Your Leadership Team: As Taha emphasized, culture cascades. Begin by helping your directors and managers understand their own emotional blockers to ownership. Once they experience the transformation, they'll naturally apply it with their teams.

5. Challenge AND Support: Implement the balance I mentioned earlier. For every challenge you present ("I need you to take more initiative"), pair it with specific support ("Let's talk through what's making this feel difficult").

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